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Confidence Unleashed: Lucy Dutton's Journey from Shyness to Empowerment with Paul Neustrom

Paul T. Neustrom - Author Season 1 Episode 19

Lucy J Dutton is a peak performance coach who helps individuals reach their "Level 10"  of productivity and success. With a focus on professional and entrepreneurial relationships, Lucy guides her clients through the process of redefining their goals and strategies for greater achievement. She specializes in working with those who are seeking a change or shift in their personal or professional lives, offering guidance and support to help them reach their full potential. Through one-on-one coaching, Lucy empowers her clients to do more and be more, ultimately helping them to find their path to success.

In this episode of the Paul Neustrom podcast, our host Paul T. Neustrom is joined by the inspiring Lucy J. Dutton. Together, they dive into Lucy's incredible journey of overcoming shyness and lack of confidence to becoming a successful mentor and coach. Lucy shares her insights on self-love, gratitude, and the power of developing one's authentic voice. They discuss the importance of vision, collaboration, and feedback in personal and professional growth, as well as the role of men in empowering women. Lucy also sheds light on her program, Mastering Purpose and Peak Performance, aiming to help individuals redefine their purpose and reach their full potential. Throughout the episode, they touch on success strategies, group participation, and the impact of transitioning from followers to leaders. This engaging conversation is filled with valuable takeaways and empowering insights for anyone looking to overcome personal struggles and achieve their peak performance.
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC99MCR1C7NauiphAnGQhJfA 
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucy-dutton-mentor-and-coach/
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/lucy_j_dutton/
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/lucy.dutton.50

--- Timestamps (Discussion)

00:00 Podcast discusses authenticity and target audience demographics.

07:00 Seeking guidance for peak performance and growth.

08:58 Empaths seeking growth and focus in coaching.

13:10 Prioritize self-care to enhance overall well-being.

15:25 Overcoming shyness through exposure to public speaking.

20:07 Encouraging action and vision for personal growth.

22:50 Develop your own vision and voice authentically.

26:52 Define success, find it in your heart.

30:10 Excited about course, modules, networking, collaboration.

33:30 Improving time management through action management skills.

36:14 Diverse perceptions lead to unexpected group insights.

41:19 Invitation to mentoring for mastering purpose and performance.

42:53 How can they email or connect personally?

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Paul T Neustrom:

Hi, this is Paul Neustrom and you are on the Skyrocket to Success podcast. And today I am so excited to have Lucy J. Dutton all the way from Essex, England. How are you today?

Lucy Dutton:

I'm doing fantastic. Thank you, Paul. And it's great to be here with you.

Paul T Neustrom:

Thank you so much for being on here. And I had the pleasure to be on your podcast, which is high performance interviews. So tell us about your podcast. Oh,

Lucy Dutton:

wow. My, it is all about people that are either reaching high performance or they've reached high performance and the strategies that they've used to get there and that have enabled them to go from unknown or a new entrepreneur through to being very successful like yourself. That's great.

Paul T Neustrom:

So let me give you a little bit of background with Lucy. She's a mentor and a coach, and she works with mature women, and that's not necessarily by age Lucy, but it could be like emotionally mature and professionally mature and are just You really high performing women. And you're a wellness professional that helps people with their online marketing systems, accountability and business development. But you're really passionate about helping entrepreneurs attract and reach their ideal clients to generate more leads and create more sales. And so when you work with people, And I got this from your LinkedIn bio is you look at their goals. You create a strategic plan and you custom tailor to make their dream business a reality. What a gift, Lucy, that is such a great thing to offer, your

Lucy Dutton:

clients. It's fantastic seeing, and they don't have to have peak performance already. They can be somebody who is not understanding what peak performance is and wanting to just do more and to be more productive perhaps, and to learn some strategies to help them to reach What perhaps they look at is their level 10. And so when they want to make a change or a shift, and they're not quite sure which way, which direction, what do I do now? And all of those questions going on in their head. That's the time that I can grab hold of them and go, come here, let's have a chat. Let's see if we're a good fit to work together. Yeah. So that can be somebody who's in a professional relationship already, or they're in an entrepreneurial relationship with themselves and they just want to redefine what they're doing and the path that they're on. And so it can be either, or really, so it can be someone who's in business for themselves or someone who's working.

Paul T Neustrom:

Yeah. That's wonderful. And looking at some of your, online videos on YouTube and diving into Facebook and also LinkedIn, I saw that you have a varied background in wellness and how you can help people and especially women to look at things like wellness and posture. And, you have such a background in dance and choreography that. I personally know you because we've interacted in masterminds and masterclasses in Houston. And you just have a very balanced approach to how you work with people. So tell us. a little bit in your own words, what would you define as your ideal client?

Lucy Dutton:

I don't know that until you find them. But when I speak to them, I know that they are, because we just align with each other. We have that empathetic nature, most probably, that's something that's very big, that comes up each time when I work with somebody, they're generally an empath, and they're wanting to. Reach higher heights. They're not somebody who's satisfied with where they're at. They're frustrated with where they're at. So they've got that ambition, but they're a bit like a mixed salad in their head, right? It's the heck's going on up here. And so somebody who will stay the course. I get quite strict when I'm with people So when I'm working with somebody, I want them to stay the course not to start and fluff around'cause they're not gonna get the results they're looking for whatever they do. So I'm, I don't work with people that are like that. I work with women that are really serious about reaching that next level and are willing to put in the work and are coachable. So I would say those things are the main things. And you spoke about the fitness side and the wellbeing. I think from being a dancer for. Many years. I was a dancer professionally for over 10 years, choreographer started as a teacher before, when I was actually in college, I was teaching and then mentoring and coaching. Now, if I add all of that together, that's 30 years worth of teaching, coaching, mentoring, and so bringing all of that knowledge. And like you say, posture and understanding of health and fitness being the foundation, Paul. Because if you haven't got your health and your happiness, there are two of the things that I think are the most key things for anybody, health and happiness. And if you've got those, you can go for miles and miles. You bring

Paul T Neustrom:

up several topics that are just key. And one is the accountability where you hold people accountable to where they're really desiring to go. And, I was reading about how you're a high flow coach and that you're the founder of mastering purpose and peak performance. So let's speak a little bit about that because I see that you have such a varied background, whether it's health, wellness. Mindset, accountability, purpose, you're one of the best overall coaches for women I've ever met.

Lucy Dutton:

Okay, so the Mastering Purpose and Peak Performance has been a pilot program. And it is changing the lives of the women who are on there. I'm not saying that they're telling me that, which is fantastic feedback to get. And it is that place of understanding your purpose again, rather than the way I describe it, Paul, when people go, who do you work with? It's women who perhaps have had children who have flown the nest or about to, and they're looking at, Oh my goodness, what am I going to do now? And perhaps the husband has flown the nest as well. And so maybe they're a single lady and they don't feel like they have purpose anymore. I was speaking to a lady only yesterday who had 10, has 10 children. And she had completely. Dove into taking care of those 10 children with, and alongside her business and was coming out the other end of that. So they're all growing up now and she's what the heck do I do now? And so she needed to redefine her purpose and that's what she's doing. She is going on to do her own business and speaking about things that she knows about, that she has knowledge about, right? And then when I told her what I did, she went, Oh my goodness. She said, I need to be on that course. I need to be on that course. And I'd hardly told her anything about it, pretty much what I just said now. And she needs to know how to now do things faster, in less time, for herself, loving herself first, putting herself at the top of the pile, which women don't tend to do, they go, Oh no, I've got to look after my children, got to look after my husband, got to look after the dog and the cat, the whatever, and they put themselves to the bottom of the list. That is not the right way to go. You have to put yourself at the top of the list because if you're at the top of the list and you are taking care of your wellbeing, your health, your fitness, loving yourself first. Then you can do so much more and you can fly so much higher and you're giving a good example to your children. You're teaching people how to treat you. So there's so much along there that I, Oh, I've got goosebumps telling you this. There's so much along that journey of taking care of yourself first and putting yourself at the top of the pile that affects everything else around you. That's

Paul T Neustrom:

amazing. So I'm going to switch gears on you here a little bit, and I want to talk about not just the fact that you help people with the next chapter in their lives, but let's talk about some of the past chapters of your life. And I read that you are painfully shy and you've gone through some pretty low points in your life. And, skyrocket to success. We like to dive in and see what was the struggle that really made you passionate about what you do now and how did you become

Lucy Dutton:

successful? Oh my goodness. There's so many questions in there, Paul. Let me start at the beginning. The painfully shy bit. I absolutely was. And here's the thing I discovered about being painfully shy. I kept telling myself I was shy. And so I kept on programming myself that I was shy. So I kept on playing out that I was shy. And I started to realize that. And I would be in, in front of, I can see myself in photographs, shying away like this, not wanting my photograph to be taken because that's how I was acting out what I'd program myself to be right. And so overcoming that within a health company that I was in. Being made to get up on stage and speak just to say my name and a product result that I was having over and over again, I then began to be invited on stage to speak and to give a section within that, their seminars. And however nervous I was, I lent into that fear. Which is something else I teach on to lean into the fear and do it anyway. And then sit down and think I've done it once. I'm still alive. I'm still here. And so I know I can do it again. So when I was asked again, it's okay, I can reflect on how it was before. It's got to be better than that. Cause that was a disaster or it felt like a disaster. And then I could step up and I could do it again. And I, again and again, and just got better and improved. In that way, I was finding my voice, which was another point that you made. And then with being so passionate about where I am now, there's been some personal stuff that's gone on where I felt like if I'd allowed myself, which I did at the time, allowed myself to be made, feel unimportant. And I had to get through that time. And it was probably one of the worst two times in my life. I can think of two that are really rubbish. And that was one of them. And to be able to work on myself, talk myself, love, looking at things, being grateful for things. And. Telling myself there was abundance, absolutely everywhere. So they, I'd say the three things, it was love, abundance, and gratitude. I was working on to pull me out of that. And then I've had experiences and trainings very much, including the one we went to together in Houston, which I've had breakthroughs. And in the Houston experience, it was. I the words, the sentence that came to my mind was that I'm clothing myself in my own boldness. And there was no, I've got this thing I want to say, I've got this song I want to sing, and I'm not singing it anymore. I want to sing this song. I'm going to sing this song. And there are going to be people out there, women out there, that need to hear me sing that song, not literally, by the way. And so taking all of those skills and knowledge that I've built up over all of these years, just here you are, it's like here you are, what's the point in me keeping them to myself, apart from for me? And that's only one person. I can share those with however many other women that I can. Feel that it's the right thing to do to work with me, to find their love, gratitude, and all of those things and their abundance in themselves. Yeah.

Paul T Neustrom:

That's amazing, Lucy. One of the questions I've had here lately, and it's been trying to understand how women really struggle with the whole identity and how the imposter syndrome is so hard for them to break through and overcome. And I'm wondering as far as. The process of going from, struggling to success is how much of that is, is knowing, that you are a leader and that you do have a voice and, tell us about that transition where maybe you see a client that you start with and then a client that you end up with. and the empowerment that they are able to derive just by some coaching that you do and how you mentor them.

Lucy Dutton:

The biggest word here is action. I help people to take action. And if they're in action, Towards what they, their vision we work on what their vision is going to be. So we have, I have a process where they can look and find that and what it might be and what it could look like and what they want it to look like and to speak to that so that they know where they're going. And if you're just here in the now, that's fine. And you're concentrating on the now, but if the now where you are now, isn't where you want to be, you have to know. That whatever you decide you want is out there. And so having that vision, seeing it, but not only seeing it, viscerally feeling it right inside, that you can get there and that you've got the support to get there and then taking the steps and they can be tiny steps as long as they're steps in towards that vision and then once you've got, it goes in a circle, so you have your beliefs. Which you think about, and when you think about that, they're your thoughts, you can do this, you can't do this, whatever those thoughts are, then you speak about that. And then you have to then catch that thought and go, is this a growth mindset? Or is this a fixed mindset? Am I saying I will never be able to do that? I'll never be able to write a book, Paul, right? That's a fixed mindset. If I say, Paul, I know there's a book inside everybody, help me to write a book and to edit it and you will do that and we can work together. But I have to have that growth mindset. So catching whether it's a growth or a fixed mindset is something that any of your listeners can start to do. And the next step is to do the things that you don't think you can do. So what is it you don't think you can do? Take action on those things, because now when you've done them, your belief is I can do it. Like me getting up on stage for the first time and giving a speech, in front of, I think the biggest one was 600. It wasn't that many to start with, probably about 50. And. I didn't believe I could do it, but I did it anyway. But when I sat down, I'd done it. So now my new belief is I can do that and I can probably get better. So it's taking action on the things you don't believe you can do and catching yourself, what mindset am I. In fixed or growth.

Paul T Neustrom:

It's interesting. You talk about the fixed mindset and I see it as a limiting mindset and your thoughts and your words about vision are so powerful. And the book that I just finished was for authors playbook and it was a chapter called discovering and developing your voice. Thanks. And the one thing I see is a lot of times we're trying to model or copy somebody that's doing what we want to do. And that's fine, but it's not a very authentic vision. And so when you develop your own vision and you said something else about when you speak and podcasting, I don't know what it's done for you, but it's really developed my voice. And one of the things I've discovered is that when you find your voice and develop it, is it creates not only the vision and here's the acronym of voice, your vision creates your originality, inspiration, creativity that you embody. And so that to me is your authentic voice. That's really you because you discover the things that really, you know, are your passions and what really turns your crank, so to speak. So I think it's wonderful that you have so many gifts that you have worked on. I've met your son. He's a wonderful man. And I know, you're just so proud of him. I, when we were in Houston, you just really glowed when he was by your side. And I know he's just a really Great asset in your life. And I think about all of the people and you do work with men. I've seen that it's not just strictly women. And I think for men, a lot of times, if you're alone, you need that feedback. And sometimes it's best coming from a woman. I know I, I need feedback. My wife is blind. So a lot of times I have no idea, as far as how, the suit looks, how does the shirt combination look? So I have to rely on other people. And she she's, great with my voice because she fell in love with my voice and that's wonderful. And she's great coaching in that respect. But, I look at the way that you help people with their mindset, you help them, in your body, the empathic, the spiritual aspects of things, but for people to reach their maximum impact, tell me how you said level 10, how far does the bar go? Tell us about some things that you've seen maybe from some clients and some success stories and how you would determine success.

Lucy Dutton:

Okay. So that I think is the crux of it is how does somebody determine success? Because I'm going to determine success differently than you and differently than each client that you and I will have, separately. It's like, that's something that I need to find out. What do they feel? Is there level 10? And then sometimes when they get there, it's actually I can go a bit higher. So it's also part of belief of what you can do. And the way that I think you can really tune into that is. If you say it logically, so we think logically, oh this is success to me, when I'm going to be earning, let's say, 10, 000 a month, that's my, that's going to be my success. That's in your head. Now, if you drop down into your heart, and you breathe, and you allow that to just land in your heart, and you say it in your heart, is that real for you? A, do you feel that's a possibility? B, do you think it's too small? C, is that really your definition of success? And so that's a really interesting exercise going from head to heart and you can go deeper, but just going from head to heart will really make you understand or help you to understand is that, cause we can just say, Oh, success will be when I can own a. Whatever it is, an amazing car or an amazing house, or that's my, but what is it? Success is little steps along the way. For me, they're little steps. They are doing your first podcast. They are speaking up for yourself when you're in a situation where you wouldn't normally speak up for yourself. That's success. It is leaning into a fear when you've never leant into that fear and allowed yourself to go there before. That's success. Then you're not waiting for success to happen. You're making it happen on a daily basis and you're in control of that. And so success for the people that I work with, as I say, especially women, I look at that and it's success are the increments. They're the increment. So if it was somebody who wanted to lose weight, so I've helped a lot of women to lose weight. That's another business that I do, but every pound, every kilo, every on the scales and every bit of exercise that they do for longer, that's success. So again, it's not waiting for success to happen. It's making it happen every single day and going, do you know what? Well done me. Giving yourself a pat on the back, giving yourself a round of applause, jumping in, championing yourself.

Paul T Neustrom:

We've been speaking with Lucy J Dutton, a mentor and a coach from Essex in the United Kingdom. And, I'm fascinated. With the fact that you do these videos where you show yourself riding your bike in the rain. And, it seems like a rains a lot there. A lot of mud puddles on the country road you're on and you do live in the country. I imagine you've created a life for yourself that you not only enjoy, but you share it with a lot of people. And the joy, it seems, that you emanate, that emanates from you is really a delightful, sight to behold. Let me ask you, what is something that you're really excited about and working on currently? Ooh,

Lucy Dutton:

I think the thing that I've definitely been the most excited about is the course the pilot program, and that's now reaching the last two modules. So the second to last one, penultimate one is this evening, and then I'm doing a bonus one next week. So that's been exciting because of the transformation of the women that are on there. And then just being able to. Set out with bigger goals that I've got. We work with masterclasses. I know you understand those Paul. So I think being able to reach more people through networking, that's exciting. So I'm at the moment finding a lot more people, especially women who are in that, I feel that is very what's the word I'm looking for? It's a good collaboration to make, right? Because it's a good fit. We're a good fit for each other. And so coming across those people and being able to work with them is, I think that's the most exciting thing because that's when I can reach more people. And that's when I can help them to reach more people and to help more people to put themselves to the top of the list, to feel fantastic, to have more joy and love and gratitude and all of that in their life because life shouldn't be a grind, should it?

Paul T Neustrom:

No, it shouldn't. So this is the Mastering Purpose and Peak Performance Masterclass that you're doing?

Lucy Dutton:

That's, yeah, that's the one that's just about to come to the end, yeah, of the pilot. That's awesome.

Paul T Neustrom:

And so I'm going to allow you to make an invitation for people that might want to check that out and how they can

Lucy Dutton:

find you. Oh gosh. You can find me under Lucy Dutton. You can find me under Lucy J Dutton. You can find me on YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn. Instagram, even TikTok, but it's probably not the easiest way to communicate and yeah, just reach out and I will message you back and we can have a chat if you'd like to do that. It would be my absolute pleasure to find out if we're the right people to work together.

Paul T Neustrom:

So tell us what is the end result of your mastering purpose and peak performance? What do people come out of

Lucy Dutton:

that with? I should be able to tell you in a couple of weeks, but the goal is the transformation and I can see it as happening. It's in front of my eyes, which is wonderful. More confidence in how they do what they do, the skills that they have, that they're like, Oh my goodness. I'm really good, aren't I? So there's that self empowerment and self belief that they can then stand up for themselves, that they can use the skills of the, from the peak performance to structure their day better so that they're not wasting time. It's, there's no, Don't waste time, use time, don't waste it. And so they're finding ways to use time better and to structure it in a better way. I'm very into time. You can't manage it, but you can use action management skills. And that's what I teach on. So it's action management. So all about action. I told you that was one of my big words. Action is one of the big words. And they come out of that or they will be coming out of that with a greater understanding of redefining their purpose or finding their purpose and being able to use the skills that they've learned through the peak performance to just go further and faster and feel better with themselves and to either move on or just enjoy where they're at now because I've got one lady on there that was wanting to leave her job at the beginning of the year and now she has found Ways that she can make that job much more enjoyable by setting some boundaries, by having some conversations, by not getting distracted. And she is I do love it. This is my passion, Lucy. I'm like, that's fantastic. You don't have to leave your job. No, I don't. She said she'd been there for 30 years. So she was wondering if it was time to move on and she doesn't want to.

Paul T Neustrom:

That's amazing. So the power of community, when you see. The people in your groups working together, tell us about

Lucy Dutton:

that. It's one of the, it's a flow trigger. Working together in groups. So again, that comes from peak performance and it's that group you're sharing. You've got shared goals because they all want the same thing. You've got shared risk. You've got shared communication and shared values probably. If you're going for a certain goal, there's a kind of a yes. And so you're allowed to share and not be put down. It's a safe space. Everybody participates. It's not just, you're not being taught how to do something. Yes, there's some teaching. Everybody shares. And so in a group, in that community, you're not just getting it from one person. Everybody goes, Oh, I do it like this, or I had this experience and it helps somebody else to see something from a different angle. There was one thing that one of my ladies said last week and she said, are perception and reality the same thing? She and her husband were having different opinions about whether perception and reality were the same thing or not. And I said it probably means that you're defining things differently. Maybe you define reality differently than he does. Or perception differently than he does. So that might be the differentiator, right? So we can have these wonderful discussions and then something else will pop up. And so it's the great thing about the community within a group situation is that you uncover things that are unexpected. It helps you in areas that you thought, I had no idea it was going to help me with that thing. And yeah, the groups are very powerful. Plus they get one to one coaching as well, by the way. So they get three one to one calls as well through that to just go, let's nail down on that bit for you, because that's where you're perhaps getting stuck or you're not, you're a bit unsure. And so those just build in that clarity within the course.

Paul T Neustrom:

I would imagine with the interactivity and the fact that you're implementing change not only individually, but in a group setting that there's high validation and growth.

Lucy Dutton:

Yeah, definitely. And I think they're validating themselves. That's what I see that is happening, Paul. They're validating themselves. And that is. A joy to see because people put them, you spoke about imposter syndrome before, right? We didn't dig any deeper into that. Validate your skills, validate your knowledge, validate what you've done in the past. Then you can knock imposter syndrome out of the ballpark, just shove it out the way. It's, you've got so much to give. And. Anybody has been through stuff. They've learned stuff. They've experienced things. They've been on trainings. They've been in a relationship. They've brought up children. They haven't had a relationship and they know what that's like. Those skills, that knowledge and all of the life learnings that you've had, you validate yourself through those. And so the imposter syndrome can just be, yeah, that's rubbish. Don't have it. Don't hold onto that and don't speak to it either. Don't say, Oh, I've got imposter syndrome.

Paul T Neustrom:

Not a good confession. No, not a good

Lucy Dutton:

confession. I remember your program in your own mind when you say it. So it's much better. I was going to say, it's much better to say. I'm great at, I'm so good at, and understanding your strengths and where your strengths lie. I'm a great listener. I'm a fantastic writer. I'm a best selling author. I'm not, Paul is. All of those things. You can change that. Yeah. I'm a great choreographer and I missed my, it was one of the things, if I had a regret, that would be it. Not continuing to choreograph, but that's fine. I've done other things, went on a different path and it's never the wrong path. So

Paul T Neustrom:

Lucy, don't you actually think you're choreographing people's next chapter in their lives? Yeah, I do. That's amazing. The perception of reality, I think that's a fascinating subject. And, a lot of times, it seems that the perception that we have of ourselves is really different Disjointed from reality. My dad worked with alcoholics and drug addicts and he used to say, and he was very successful at it, but he would say, if you want to know yourself, don't look in the mirror. But if you truly want to know yourself, get around five of the closest people and ask them, how do I make you feel? And then you're going to get your reality. And so I imagine with all of this interaction in your group setting, the feedback they get from individualized coaching is they have a true sense of what their perceived reality is from other people that they can truly learn to embody themselves.

Lucy Dutton:

Yeah, I, yeah, I absolutely agree with that. That's very wise words, Paul. Absolutely. And I think I was saying that the other day, I don't think I see myself as other people see me. And possibly, there are quite a few people that feel the same way. Doing what you just suggested is a great way to find out how you're perceived, and that's how people see you. Yeah. So

Paul T Neustrom:

I'd like to make an invitation for, if you're looking for a coach to be able to mentor you for mastering purpose and peak performance, I'd like to invite you to Have a conversation with Lucy Dutton, who I've been speaking with on my podcast here, skyrocket to success. And it's been a wonderful conversation that we've had. And she does an actual masterclass where she walks you through the entire process of not only health and wellness, but mindset and purpose in a group setting, as well as A one on one coaching that if you're really wanting to level up, if you're wanting to discover that next chapter in your life, that is at the level 10, as she calls it, then I invite you to give Lucy a call and just speak with her. I know her personally. We've been interacting and it's just been a delightful. Conversation we've had today, but I really just value the friendship we've developed. And I just so thankful for you being in my life.

Lucy Dutton:

Thanks, Lucy. Thank you, Paul. And absolutely. Likewise. It's been an amazing few months that we've known each other. I don't even think it's six months yet, but yeah. Podcast. It's been a real absolute ball. I've loved it. I've enjoyed it so much.

Paul T Neustrom:

What's a good way if they wanted to email you or connect with you personally, how would they do that?

Lucy Dutton:

They can email me at lucy j dutton dot com. Yeah.

Paul T Neustrom:

Okay, good enough. All right. And so one more time, lucy at lucy j dutton dot com. That's the one. Thanks, Lucy. It's been amazing.

Lucy Dutton:

Thank you so much, Paul. Bye for now.

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